Monthly Archives: October 2020

Three Rules of Leadership

These rules are my own idea for how a good leader does their job. I don’t claim they are “The” Three Rules, just a set of them that I like.

Because I am a nerd, they are structured like Asimov’s Three Laws of Robotics. You can break later rules in order to follow an earlier one.

Rule 1. Don’t be stupid.

Above all else, don’t make moronic decisions or take dumb actions. This is essentially unforgivable. A leader has to be intelligent or, some might say, “smart”.

Rule 2. Be fair, unless that would be stupid.

Even if you have to displease somebody, if it’s a fair decision, they should eventually at least understand and accept it. Everyone really cares about fairness, even the very young.

However, it’s a mistake to do stupid things in the name of fairness. See Harrison Bergeron. It helps to remember that fair does not mean equal.

Rule 3. Don’t be a jerk, unless that’s needed to be fair and not stupid.

To be effective, those you lead must at least not hate you. When a leader acts, they should be compassionate and understanding, or at least not hostile.

However, if push comes to shove, and you can’t effect change in a fair and intelligent way otherwise, then you’ll have to stop being nice, and get the job done. Can’t please everybody.


I don’t want to expound on these ideas, because, well, that could take a while, and detract from their nice, simple form. I’ve considered them for quite some time, and I think they hold up well when considering what real-world leaders do, and whether they are doing a good job or not.

Implicit no

I’ve felt busier at work this year than usual. (Hence why it’s been a year since my last post – yikes!) I’m probably not actually busier as measured by, I dunno, theoretical units of work effort. It’s that there is a wider variety and breadth of what I have to deal with each day than, I think, ever. Rather than concentrating on fewer items, my time and attention are spread across many items.

I don’t like working like this, and I’m also not used to it, compared with diving deeply into technical efforts. I don’t have the mental habits in place to work well this way (at least by my own assessment).

So, I’ve been learning and reading about this conundrum. While researching one topic, how to make effective requests, I ended up reflecting on how I respond to requests. I try to take care of everything on my plate, regardless of who placed it there, but this year I’ve seen just how finite the size of that plate is. I can’t respond to everything that either I want to or others want me to.

For this common work scenario, you’ll hear the recommendation to learn to say no. I’ve realized how very rarely, nay, even seldom, I out-and-out say no. I mean, I totally buy into the idea, but when it comes time … that little word barely ever passes between my lips. Just thinking about saying that to a coworker feels bad to me when I imagine it.

The problem is that, because of my reluctance to explicitly say no, I am instead implicitly saying no, now more than I used to. That’s even worse.

Continue reading