Tag Archives: no

Implicit no

I’ve felt busier at work this year than usual. (Hence why it’s been a year since my last post – yikes!) I’m probably not actually busier as measured by, I dunno, theoretical units of work effort. It’s that there is a wider variety and breadth of what I have to deal with each day than, I think, ever. Rather than concentrating on fewer items, my time and attention are spread across many items.

I don’t like working like this, and I’m also not used to it, compared with diving deeply into technical efforts. I don’t have the mental habits in place to work well this way (at least by my own assessment).

So, I’ve been learning and reading about this conundrum. While researching one topic, how to make effective requests, I ended up reflecting on how I respond to requests. I try to take care of everything on my plate, regardless of who placed it there, but this year I’ve seen just how finite the size of that plate is. I can’t respond to everything that either I want to or others want me to.

For this common work scenario, you’ll hear the recommendation to learn to say no. I’ve realized how very rarely, nay, even seldom, I out-and-out say no. I mean, I totally buy into the idea, but when it comes time … that little word barely ever passes between my lips. Just thinking about saying that to a coworker feels bad to me when I imagine it.

The problem is that, because of my reluctance to explicitly say no, I am instead implicitly saying no, now more than I used to. That’s even worse.

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